Alone and Empty
by Chiba.Kun
Summary: Yazoo knows he's the odd one out. He knows that he's the weak link. What he doesn't know is why Kadaj loves to cause him so much pain... [KadajxYazoo]


**A/N: **Hello there. Please be aware that this is my first Final Fantasy VII fanfic, so please review with creative criticism or comments/compliments. I can handle light insults, but flames will be ignored outright and will be flamed in return.

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this story, not Final Fantasy VII, not the characters, nothing.

Warnings: Slash/Shounen-Ai/Yaoi, implied rape/sexual abuse, maybe slight OOC, and if you want to think about it that way, then incest is in here too.

Well, without further ado…

* * *

Tonight Yazoo is lying awake in bed, restless and yet inviting sleep to take him. Rain is pounding down on the window in his small bedroom and he gazes at the delicate patterns the drops are leaving on the glass. _I wonder if he'll come tonight, _he thinks to himself. His gaze shifts to the door a few metres away from him. Yazoo wonders if the door will open quietly and the slight, delicate frame of his brother would appear in the opening. The moon is bright tonight and Yazoo can perfectly see Kadaj's elegant silhouette stepping steadily closer to him. He can see Kadaj's brilliant eyes piercing his. 

Yazoo closes his eyes. He doesn't want to see anymore, but his mind won't block the images out. He takes a deep breath and hears a faint click coming from the door. He doesn't need to open his eyes or look up to know who it is: Kadaj. He feels a small smirk creep up onto his lips and knows Kadaj is wearing an identical one. He hears heavy breathing. "Is it that time already?" Yazoo asks his younger brother. He opens his eyes slightly to find Kadaj standing up over him and looking down at him with those bright green eyes of his. He sees his brother nod slowly and Yazoo releases a breath. Kadaj moves to straddle Yazoo's hips and lifts his brother so he is sitting up. Yazoo says nothing but watches with little interest as his brother examines his face for any signs of emotion. Yazoo has long given up showing emotion at these little 'meetings' the two of them share. He doesn't think Kadaj realizes this, however, so he smiles an empty smile at his brother and Kadaj takes this as a sign to move on. He smirks up into Yazoo's eyes and begins his work. Yazoo knows what will come next, but is surprised to find a slightly new twist on things.

Normally, Kadaj would now be pulling the zipper on Yazoo's top downwards, but tonight he leans up and gently kisses Yazoo first. Yazoo is used to Kadaj's kisses, but they never come first. He thinks Kadaj is trying to throw him off and get some kind of reaction out of him. Of course, Yazoo is right. He keeps his eyes open for the short, chaste kiss though Kadaj's eyes are closed. When the kiss ends, Kadaj moves down Yazoo's neck to take the zipper between his teeth and slowly, tauntingly, pull downwards. Yazoo raises an eyebrow in an instant of betrayed surprise. When He feels Kadaj finishing and removing every piece of clothing from his body, he looks down at the younger man. Kadaj grins and slides up Yazoo's body, pressing gently and seemingly gliding upwards. He captures Yazoo's lips once more and this time lets his tongue slip between his brother's lips. Yazoo makes no reaction, but allows Kadaj to take control of the moment like he usually does. Kadaj parts from his brother and gives him a small, questioning look before shaking it off and returning to his task. He moves to Yazoo's neck and begins to suck at what he knows are Yazoo's most sensitive spots. Yazoo still doesn't react.

Kadaj bites down and earns a groan that the elder holds back. His teeth are drawing small amounts of blood now, and Kadaj's tongue flits across the skin of Yazoo's neck to lap up the small red droplets. His fingers begin to trace up Yazoo's arm to his shoulder, then once they're there, he traces a circle before sliding gentle, elegant fingers down Yazoo's chest and past his hips to his length. He began to tease Yazoo, stroking the elder's slowly hardening member. Once again Yazoo bit back a groan while Kadaj smiled triumphantly at the small reactions he was getting out of the longer-haired male, both the physical and emotional kind. He finishes licking the drops of blood from Yazoo's neck and sucks, leaving Yazoo with a sharp, stinging pain.

"Brother…" Yazoo begins, voice raspy and weak. The younger male responds with a soft "Hmm?" against Yazoo's neck. Yazoo takes a deep, shuddering breath and starts again. "Brother… Why me?"

Kadaj stops sucking and looks up, momentarily forgetting about the reddened area on Yazoo's neck. He doesn't understand and says nothing, so Yazoo decides to elaborate. "Why did you choose to do this to me? Why not Loz?" He asks. Kadaj is still confused; he never really had a reason set in his mind. Now that Yazoo is asking for one, he doesn't know how to respond. Yazoo looks down at him with deep, concerning eyes and Kadaj feels compelled to answer. He ignores the warm feeling in his cheeks and the fact that his eyes are glued to Yazoo's identical ones.

"Loz… You're different than Loz," He said quietly. "You… you're not like him. He's loud and emotional. You're withdrawn and quiet… I don't really understand you." He finds it hard to convey his exact feelings with such meaningless words, yet he knows Yazoo understands. "There's something about you… I just find you so…" he caresses Yazoo's length again and smirks at the soft whimper Yazoo makes. "Alluring… tantalizing… beautiful…" He whispers these words in Yazoo's ear delicately, like soothing a crying child. Yazoo's face warms and a blush creeps on to his cheeks, painting it a dark shade of pink. Kadaj smirks. "You're not the same as us… no, you're different. You're… _special_."

Yazoo knows that he's different from his brothers. But special? He never once thought of himself in the way Kadaj described seconds ago. Deep down, he's always felt so alone and afraid. He's always been worried. He doesn't know what he's worried about, though. He thinks he is beginning to realize what it is as he stares so desperately into Kadaj's eyes. It is loneliness reflected in both of their eyes: Yazoo is afraid that his brothers will leave him behind; that they will abandon and reject him because of his difference. He's not as faithful as them; not as devoted. Deep down, Yazoo knows he's been afraid of being abandoned by his brothers. He knows he's not as strong as Loz or as Determined as Kadaj. So what is he? He has yet to find out.

For now, though, he smils tenderly at Kadaj. "I think I'm beginning to understand…" He whispers, wrapping his arms around the slender, naked body of his brother and brining him close in an embrace. Hesitantly, Kadaj returns it. He's not used to receiving affection. "I know exactly what you mean," Yazoo whispers. "I'm the same way. The fear of rejection… of abandonment… I won't leave you, Kadaj."

Kadaj makes a small noise in his throat as his eyes widen. He realizes that Yazoo is right; that he is afraid of being left behind. Tears gather in the corner of Kadaj's eyes and he begins to shake a little bit, silently sobbing into Yazoo's chest. Yazoo hugs him closer. "Yazoo…" Kadaj whispers, voice shaking with quiet sobs. Yazoo strokes Kadaj's hair with the back of his hand. "Yes, Kadaj?" He asks. Kadaj shudders under the touch, but secretly loves it.

"Do you think… Do you think mother will be mad?" His voice is barely more audible than a breath and Yazoo has to lean in close to hear him. Kadaj is finished expressing his dread, and Yazoo chuckles softly to himself. "Oh, Kadaj…" He whispers in the younger's ear. "Of course not… We are her children. She may not approve of this… but she doesn't hate us; she won't be angry." He says, and Kadaj finds comfort in his brother's soothing words. "Why do you ask this now, after all the torture you've put me through?" Yazoo asks quietly. "The forced sex; the painful hours of time you set aside just to pleasure yourself?" His eyes are cold; icy with the memories Kadaj caused. Kadaj whimpers softly; so quietly that Yazoo can barely hear.

"I don't… I'm not sure," he admits. "In the back of my mind, I've always been afraid… afraid that mother will hate me for it…" He looks away from his brother's alluring gaze. "But… you're so alluring… I can't resist; I won't resist while you're here for me to…" he trailed off, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. "Yazoo… are you mad at me?" He asks. Again, his voice is thick with worry, and Yazoo just pulls away from his brother. He holds a frightened Kadaj in front of him and smiles at him. He moves on hand to lift Kadaj's chin up and kisses the other man comfortingly, hoping to express his answer in the one simple motion. Kadaj understands and returns the kiss. Neither one moves to deepen it and they just let the simple, chaste kiss run its course. They take comfort in it.

The two of them part and look into each other's eyes again. "Thank you, brother…" Yazoo whispers. He owes so much to Kadaj right now. All those times that Kadaj came in to assert his force to Yazoo, the elder man realizes, he is thankful for. Were it not for the forced sex and sexual abuse, they could have realized all this sooner and would have become real lovers.

The two simultaneously realize this and Kadaj apologizes. Yazoo smiles and says, "We could still try it."

The two stay up the rest of the night attempting to start their abusive relationship anew.


End file.
